Which Facebook Mum Are You?

If you are one of the reported 1.39 billion monthly active Facebook users, then the chances are you have become familiar with some of the popular identities that crop up on the world's biggest social networking site. The bragger, the loved up couple and the cryptic status updater are just a handful of the personalities that seem to have become synonymous with Facebook. But since becoming a mum I am particularly interested in the varying personalities of the Facebook mum squad. Which ones do you recognise from your timeline and which one are you?

The gushing mum
This mum's kids are her absolute world. We know this because she reminds us daily with long winded declarations of love for her children peppered with hashtags such as #lifesgreatestgift or #luckymummy. She constantly tags herself as 'feeling blessed' and would never dream of saying a bad word about her little angels...at least not on social media. Some may argue she's vom inducing but in a world where there's so much hate, I personally think gushing mum's status updates are pretty heartwarming to see.

The moaner mum
In contrast to gushing mum, moaner mum thinks nothing of complaining about her offspring on the internet. 'Seriously cannot wait for preschool to start' and 'is it bedtime yet?' are amongst some of moaner mum's most well used status updates. For her, Facebook is an outlet - somewhere to vent spleen and seek reassurance from other frazzled mums that things do get better. She may come across as negative at times, but let's face it...we've all thought it even if we haven't written it on Facebook.

The cool mum
Cool mum was cool before she became a mum and she's still cool now. What's worse is so is her child! Often pictured wearing crochet garments and Dr Martens, Baby Cool has already visited more art galleries than you and is regularly photographed helping mum to paint all of their upcycled furniture wearing nothing but a nappy and headphones.

The fountain-of-knowledge mum
This mum has heaps of experience in child rearing and is only too happy to share her advice. She can mostly be found commenting on other people's threads with her words of wisdom. Baby has a sniffle? She'll know all about Calpol/Ibuprofen rotations and the Vicks on the feet technique. Terrible twos? She practically taught Supernanny the tricks of the toddler tantrum trade. Bedtime trouble? Her kids have been sleeping through since they were two weeks old. At times she might come across as 'mummy-know-it-all' but we respect her because she really does know her shit.

The snap-happy mum
Ever since she announced her pregnancy by editing the words 'coming soon' onto a black and white photo of her naked belly, your timeline has been inundated with pictures from snap-happy mum. For this wannabe photographer, bump updates and grisly newborn pics were just the start - to date she has 67 albums dedicated to her favourite subject. You've witnessed their every milestone from varying angles and have probably seen more photos of her child than you have of your own. Whilst you occasionally wonder if she only ever sees her child from behind a camera lens, you also have to applaud her dedication. She's going to have one hell of a family album.

The crafty mum
Facebook isn't crafty mum's favourite social media platform - her heart lies with Pinterest. Still, every now and then she'll upload photos of rainy-day creations that would make Neil Buchanan proud. Whether it's a guitar made out of a cereal box or a Coke bottle rocket, crafty mum can turn any household item into a work of art and wins the Easter Bonnett Parade Every. Single. Year.

The how-does-she-do-it-mum
She checked in at the gym at 7am this morning, now she's just arrived at Alton Towers. She only got back from her holiday in the South of France last week and she's invited you to a fundraising event she's hosting tomorrow. And she works! How does she do it all and still manage to post photos of an immaculate house and well turned out kids? There are either dark forces at work here or she is seriously good at editing.

The joker mum
Joker mum tries not to appear phased by the overwhelming responsibility of parenthood. She doesn't take anything too seriously and her contributions to Facebook are often witty anecdotes or amusing photos of her child with a colander on his head. She may appear cool, calm and collected but sometimes she uses humour to cover up her own insecurities.

The oversharing mum
Oversharing mum likes to inform the Facebook world of her every move whether it's her plans for the day, what she's serving up for lunch or which household chores she hopes to complete during nap time. Sometimes she strays into the realms of the inappropriate - like when she posted photos of her child's first deposit on the potty (although anyone who has gone through the ordeal of potty training will know that this can often feel like a triumph worth boasting about). Some may say it's unnecessary to share every mundane detail of your life online but for many mums, it is one of the only ways they get to interact with other humans over the age of 4 during the day. So give her a break.

The absent mum
Absent mum can't be arsed with Facebook. She'll post once in a blue moon and you'll be reminded that she still exists and shocked at how old her children are now.

So 'fess up, which one are you? I think I'm closest to joker mum...forever wishing I was crafty/cool/how-does-she-do-it mum though!

My Kid Doesn't Poop Rainbows


  1. Love this! Cool Mum made me laugh out loud - I am so uncool I don't even know any babies wearing a nappy and headphones let alone own one #facebookenvy ;)
    I think I am annoying Blog Mum. I rarely post status' and photos of the tot, apart from when I'm blatantly plugging my stuff and banging on about babies! I am sure there are some who dread me...!

  2. Thank you for reading :)

    Annoying blog mum...must have missed that one off the list! Your blog is fab though so I'm sure a few shameless plugs here and there wouldn't bother anyone. I'm rubbish with my Facebook blog page, need to up my game! x

  3. I think I'm a little big of every mum depending on mood and what kind of crazy if going down in our house! #FartGlitter


  4. Haha! This is brilliant! I judged every single group of mothers here. I want to be the how-does-she-do-it mum, I want to punch the fountain-of-knowledge mum and I want to be best friends with the cool mum (you become cool by association). In reality I'm now having an identity crisis!! WHO am I really?!?! Very funny post xx

  5. Ahh... I'm not quite on there! I put a few snippets of what we've been upto but I'm constantly checking it... something super exciting might happen... it never does though #fartglitter

  6. I like to think I'm how-does-she-do-it mum, but I'm probably more of the oversharer! I have to admit I find gushing mum somewhat irritating, along with anyone who uses the hashtag #blessed.

  7. Cool mum would be nice but realistically probably more the joker with a dash of moaner. Oh I'd like to be the cool one though. How do I achieve that???
    Thanks so much for linking up with #fartglitter xxx